The phone rang at 4 am, reluctantly she lifted the receiver and heard a familiar melody,
"I am the Lord High Executioner," a pause, then,
"Ring around the rosy, . . .ashes, ashes, all fall down,"
Stop, please stop, she said
written for www.trifectawritingchallenge.com
Write a story in 33 words using "The phone rang at 4 am." but do not include the phone rang at 4 am in your count.
I could feel the exhaustion and frustration. Well done.
ReplyDeleteExhaustion would describe someone who is being stalked. Thank you!
DeleteWOW. Really great.
ReplyDeletexxo
MOV
Thanks MOV.
DeleteLove to play with words :)
ReplyDeleteGlad I found you via A to Z
I have been thinking about this story for a long time--tormenting someone with her knowledge of books and music for an evil end. Thank you!
DeleteI love the twisted story, like Alice as she steps in through the keyhole.
ReplyDeleteTwists are fun to create. Have to do something with the Alice story sometime. Thank you.
DeleteThe fact that you left the quotations out of the last line makes me wonder if it was a dream...if she was just saying it in her head, instead of to her taunter. Nice.
ReplyDeleteCame from the Trifextra linkup.
I had not thought of that. If you are not sure at the end if it was a dream or not, then that is good. Thank you.
DeleteThis really got my imagination started!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment. I think Trifecta could use your word, "imagination" for a prompt. Would be fun.
ReplyDeleteThe little hairs prickled.
ReplyDeleteGood, the desired affect. Thanks, B.
ReplyDeleteOh how creepily you handled this. Very intriguing...
ReplyDeleteNot a very nice call to get at 4am. Or ever, for that matter. :o) Great story!
ReplyDeleteThank you, MP.
DeleteThanks so much for linking up to Trifextra. Remember, this weekend’s entries are being judged by the Trifecta community, so make sure you visit the site at the close of the challenge to vote. Our linking service will not allow you to vote for a link from the same computer where it was submitted, so plan ahead! Voting closes 12 hours after the close of the challenge. Winners will be announced with the Monday post. Hope to see you back then.
ReplyDeletea cry arose from the suicide's grave singing willow-tit-willow-tit-willow
ReplyDeleteOoo, Jester Queen, this is good! Try and analyze G&S lyrics, did they just pull words out to make them rhyme, or are there hidden meanings?
ReplyDeleteSurreal & hilarious; love it!
ReplyDeleteVery disturbing. An excellent response to the challenge.
ReplyDeleteI hopped over and checked out the trifecta blog. Wow. What a cool way to encourage writers to stretch and workout. When April is over, you'll find me joining you all (assuming it's an open group? May I join?)
ReplyDeleteLearning what the deal was helped me understand your piece and I'll add my comment. Very creepy and therefore very powerful. Great job!
Tina @ Life is Good
Co-Host of the April A to Z Challenge
Twitter: @AprilA2Z #atozchallenge
Thanks Tina. An looking forward to reading your blogs about Sweden. Loved Stockholm, hope to go back and see it in more depth. Yes you can join in the Trifecta blog. And they give first, second and third prizes. I haven't won yet, but always hoping.
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