In the days before Depak Chopra and Tony Robbins, there was EST, and other "self-actualization" movements. I was single, between husbands, and determined to improve myself and meet attractive, single men. What better way then to go where they might be? (This was before on-line dating). Not bars necessarily, not quilting classes, but wine seminars, financial workshops, and. . . a weekend with my then guru, Nathaniel Branden, one of the fathers of the self-esteem movement, and a protege of Ayn Rand.
After reading several of Branden's books, including The Psychology of Self-Esteem, I learned that he would be in town conducting a weekend seminar in Denver. Perfect, I thought, and I signed up.
I can still visualize some of the scenes of that weekend. More men than women, (yes!); everyone trying very hard to look confident, wondering what was in store for them. What the weekend consisted of was a series of what anyone would recognize as psychological exercises. One scene I remember was this poor guy, up on the stage, with Nathaniel skillfully leading him through some emotional memories which ended up with the "patient" sobbing into a huge teddy bear that was a prop.
The culmination of the weekend was an exercise where we all gathered in the gym, lights very dim, told to lie down on the floor, lift up our pelvises and make whatever sounds or words that came to mind. What am I doing here I thought, as the man next to me was calling his mother every horrible thing, swearing, swearing, swearing. There was a tap on my shoulder. "Natalie,"said one of Branden's assistants, (we were on first-name terms by then). "You don't seem to be getting into this."
The weekend ended, $300 later, although there were many smart, tall, men (my template), I really did not make any connections, but felt sorry for so many people that seemed deeply troubled.
I came home and called my boyfriend in California and told him about the weekend. "Honey," he said. "Anytime you want to feel 'actualized,' come to California and visit me."
I am adding a You Tube interview with Nathaniel Branden. I was flippant about my experience, but I did read his books. And he is still with us. I think seeing this You Tube will explain his philosophy, Ayn Rand and her books.
After reading several of Branden's books, including The Psychology of Self-Esteem, I learned that he would be in town conducting a weekend seminar in Denver. Perfect, I thought, and I signed up.
I can still visualize some of the scenes of that weekend. More men than women, (yes!); everyone trying very hard to look confident, wondering what was in store for them. What the weekend consisted of was a series of what anyone would recognize as psychological exercises. One scene I remember was this poor guy, up on the stage, with Nathaniel skillfully leading him through some emotional memories which ended up with the "patient" sobbing into a huge teddy bear that was a prop.
The culmination of the weekend was an exercise where we all gathered in the gym, lights very dim, told to lie down on the floor, lift up our pelvises and make whatever sounds or words that came to mind. What am I doing here I thought, as the man next to me was calling his mother every horrible thing, swearing, swearing, swearing. There was a tap on my shoulder. "Natalie,"said one of Branden's assistants, (we were on first-name terms by then). "You don't seem to be getting into this."
The weekend ended, $300 later, although there were many smart, tall, men (my template), I really did not make any connections, but felt sorry for so many people that seemed deeply troubled.
I came home and called my boyfriend in California and told him about the weekend. "Honey," he said. "Anytime you want to feel 'actualized,' come to California and visit me."
I am adding a You Tube interview with Nathaniel Branden. I was flippant about my experience, but I did read his books. And he is still with us. I think seeing this You Tube will explain his philosophy, Ayn Rand and her books.
Hi Natalie ... very interesting .. the template of men, but not men sobbing into a teddy bear ... an interesting experience .. and did you go to California?! I used to enjoy reading Ayn Rand .. perhaps I should try Nathanial Branden ..
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year ... cheers Hilary
It was the era for that sort of thing. There is a "back story" to this. Branden became very, very interested in Ayn Rand as a young man and became her disciple in a way--huge influence, still. I am adding a You Tube interview with Brandon where he still talks about her. We have this thing in America, we always want to be better, better looking, smarter, better. I wrote about the flip side to all this, but I know that there is the intellectual side,, Libertarian And I married the California guy. We have been married for 30 years, very happily.
DeleteNow I have to come back and add Natasha ... or Natalie? You've befuddled me ... Regardless HNY!! Hilary
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KZUKJjgCqg This is called: My Years With Ayn Rand. Hilary, Natalie is my formal name, Natasha is the "pet" name in Russian, like Jack is to the more formal John. Very few people call me Natasha anymore, I would be honored if you would call me Natasha.
ReplyDeleteI am reading Atlas Shrugged and I LOVE it! Happy New Year Aunt Natalie (and Uncle Rod)!
ReplyDeleteHi there, favorite niece! Please come and visit us soon. Nathaniel Branden -- were you able to see the You Tube video I attached?
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